When you live with a 3-year-old

When you walk with a dog, you are alerted to every other living animal in sniffer range--bird, bug, or ground squirrel.
When you drive with a dog, you can't hear anything above the sound of the air blowing through the crack of the window.

When you live with a 5-year-old, every new person you run into will be informed that he is, in fact, five years old, that he used to be four, but not anymore. A five-year-old girl wants to wear make-up. A five-year-old boy loves his (toy) gun--even if he isn't allowed to have one until have one until he's 7.

When you walk with a 5-year-old, he might shoot everything he sees with his pointer finger pistols until he is caught and told to stop.

When you live with a 3-year-old, he will tell you every time he farts. Sometimes with details.
You will consider stealing disposable seat covers for your own bathroom until he learns aim.
You are proud of his backwards pants and wrong-footed shoes because he got dressed by himself.
When you live with a 3-year-old, he will show you how much he loves you on his fingers.